Avalon Birke - Second Life

Big news about Wellness Island

2010-05-05T12:51:00.000-07:00

After 3.5 years, Wellness Island is closing its doors permanently.

It has been a great experience to be at the very beginning of mental health resources and education in SL, and heartening to see how many groups and individuals now offer resources. We are proud to have been helpful to so many in providing library resources, speakers at your events, middle of the night IM support for your needs, and so much more.

We are closing because we are low on two vital resources - money (I purchased and have paid the tier for the island since it started, thousands of US dollars out of pocket) and time (RL clients and work have skyrocketed lately, and time for SL has become scarce). It has been a very worthy cause and if time and money were not an issue, we'd still be open. But, real world trumps SL, and it's time for a change :-) A good one, I think!

The Counseling Center will still continue in SL and we are scouting locations now. I will not only still offer in-world mental health support to individuals, couples, and groups, but is expanding to offer Skype and webcam sessions as well. Only good changes there.

For now we still have a mainland annex with public resources - LM in my profile.:

This will likely be changing as we will need something a little bigger and more private. Details to come as we have them. Our Groups will stay open as well.

It has been wonderful working with so many of you, and thank you for your support over the last few years. I will still be around, so say hello sometime! All updates will be in my Profile and on our website www.slwellness.com or my blog

Sl Stalkers

2010-03-12T10:31:00.000-08:00

Excellent article from Ruthed.com on an issue that needs to be addressed more openly in SL - stalkers.

http://ruthed.com/2010/03/12/sl-stalkers-truthed/

.....................

SL Stalkers tRuthed by Lashy

There was an entry several posts down that I really felt for. I’m talking about the Stalker post. We know, seen, and heard about all the primpeepee-runners and skirt-chasers in SL. But these are all the tolerable setbacks of the cavemen-personas who populate SL. They’re gnats we can bat out of our way and go on with our SL days.

Aside from the occasional accusation of stalkery that sometimes stem from team-hysterics, how often do we really talk about the truly demented types in SL? And what did they exactly do to invade our little SL bubble? This isn’t the average “they said, we said thing, big mess, big noise, done by next Tuesday” thing. This is the kind who don’t back away after snarling at them to keep their distance. Where you hear rumbles about them but it goes away due to some serious PR-control. I’m talking about the screwed up personalities who upchuck their venom of twistedness on unsuspecting people, ensuring that if they can’t manipulate or inflict some control on others in RL, they can try and exert it on folks in SL.

Honestly, we all operate with this sense of a security blanket: “As long as we’re encountering these people online, we’re okay. We’re safe.”

Well, at the risk of sounding paranoid and fear-mongering, I’m going to burst your bubbles and say, sorry sweeties, you’re not entirely safe. Don’t assume the sociable stranger chatting you up at a live musician event is right in the head. Or the guy with the cute profile pic who IMs you randomly praising you for this and that is just friendly.

For starters, those who have their SL names plastered on Flickr, Plurk, Facebook, etc accounts, you’re already exposing yourself to get random IMs. I admit I have one of these accounts and I tell you, one was already enough. The moment my account gained more visibility, the more IMs I received in SL. Really weird IMs like “Hi, beautiful” Or just the unspoken friend offering that I would automatically turn down only to get an aggressively emo IM saying: “You don’t want to be friends??? Why you gotta be like that?”

And this is where I get pissed off. Becuz stalkers, have this sense of entitlement. They think they should be your friend and by not wanting to get to know them, you’re suddenly a mean person and hurting their feelings. They put the pressure on you, manipulating your emotions to feel empathy and make you be more sociable online than you’d be in person. I HATE THAT. And I hope most of you don’t fall for that bullshit.

Realize this, a stalker has been watching you for awhile. They have your whole story (and when I say “your” it’s you and him/her) made up already in their head. While you might be encountering them for the first time, in their head, they’ve had this conversation with you forever. So if they start asking, why, how could you, what did I do wrong?, etc, at the slightest whiff of rejection, there’s your sign. Restraining order, mafia friends, whatever. Get rid of that. ASAP.

I’m telling you it’s effed up. The best thing to do … don’t talk to anyone LOL. I know that’s extreme but in addition to what I mentioned above, here’s some flags that could tip you off:

1. Unusual closeness. — How often is it that we will meet our soulmate or meet a kindred spirit? Don’t kid yourself. It’s pretty damn rare. As rare as our individual DNA’s. So the chances of meeting someone who can relate to everything you mention is highly unlikely. There’s something weird about having a conversation with someone who’s too agreeable or praising for the mundane details of your small talk. Talking to you with a flair of familiarity that is a lil unnatural. Only long lost identical twins make headlines with this kismet connection. Not some schmuck in his underwear hacking at his keyboard while he eyeballs your avatar.

2. Too eager, clingy. — A healthy individual can stand on their own. Constant offline IMs, TPing to you the moment you log in (no mapping rights FTW), and this pushy need-to-know-everything is suffocating and just not right. If they are spouting nonsense of love, relationships, trying to jump on your poor avie’s bones without any preamble, and this is only the second time you’ve chatted them up. Seriously, you’re not that irresistible. That eagerness is coming from a deranged place. Especially if you’ve done nothing to invoke that kind of response. Chatting with someone doesn’t mean it will lead to anything erotic or romantic, but these folks don’t get that. Already, you saying “what’s up?” is foreplay to them.

3. Admitting to conflicts in the past — sort of. It’s the commonly joked about observation in SL … the ones who have “NO DRAMA PLEAZ” or any overtly anti-drama sentiment in their profiles usually indicate that they’ve been in one heck of a mess before. The stalkery types will usually admit to having conflicts with previous folks, but not go into great details, only to say the other person went apeshit. Like they were blameless in the drama. I can almost guarantee that’s not the case. We all have flaws that we don’t like to broadcast to people, but it’s another thing when the person goes out of the way to make others look bad and in turn make themselves appear almost victimized in the situation. Hey unless, it’s like, their ex held them hostage ala-Misery style well then, duh. But the jist of a stalker’s portrayal as the blameless one is that they are trying to impose an impression. To stroke your empathy and lower your guard around them.

4. Not taking no for an answer. — It’s like what I said earlier, if you try to keep your distance, they make you out to be the bad guy. But don’t waver in your decision. Whatever debate they bring up is coming from a place in their head where they think you already belong to them. Don’t entertain it. Mute. And I know some of you take a while to mute. Cuz you have to know what they are saying, but it’s only opening up the opportunity for them to get you to take the bait and talk to them. These folks can actually be quite manipulative and persuasive. So mute. Ignorance is bliss. Be grateful it’s as simple as that sometimes. And here’s another thing, just becuz we are all online doesn’t mean we have to suddenly forego our sense of personal space. Any guy or girl who tries to grope me or my man in RL is getting impaled by my stilletto. That applies in SL too. Those ~smiles and kisses~ emotes really annoy the piss outta me. ~Kisses hugs~friend offers~ back off dude you don’t know me. Folks, you’re not impolite when you tell them grabby pervs to get the hell away from you.

5. Overly sexual, dramatic, extreme, attention-whoring. — You know it’s like, there you are talking casually then the person suddenly lays it on thick like emoting kisses, undressing their avie, or going down a hate-the-world spiral, becoming really down on themself, and whatever odd little shit to supposedly entice some reaction from you. And it’s so out of context. Like there was nothing leading up to that kind of behaviour. It’s akin to being in a coffee shop talking to some guy about java beans and then suddenly he bangs his head into your crotch. Like wtf? And please don’t flatter yourself thinking, omg my avie is so hot they can’t help themself. I think you’re all fabulous but yeah, pride is a drug. :P And then there’s the dramabonanza spectacles. Threatening to either slit their wrists or cursing the world for its flaws. (Like whoa, the world, society, life is flawed? Like that’s so like deep. Err. Am I supposed to be enlightened? How bout yeah, get over it and yourself?) Try to calm them down, you’re accused of not understanding them. Try to get them to talk, they get all withdrawn as if they’ve got a pandora’s box of information to give to you. You’re just not doing enough to get through to them. Don’t make it a burden. You’re not a therapist. These theatrics are usually done to get you to put some kind of attention on them. Sometimes to extract overt concern, protectiveness. It’s needy, manipulative. And way too easy to get sucked into. And for them, it will never be enough.

I can go on and on, but I’m just speaking from my observations. I have to say it’s a scary situation to be in. This’s coming from someone who’s proud to be paranoid. A wise man once told me it just meant I was more aware. Anyhoo, SL Pepper spray, anyone? o.o

New upcoming interview

2010-02-22T19:27:00.000-08:00

I was contacted recently by a man named Kevin, conducting interviews on health and wellness in Second Life. Sharing the rough draft of questions and answers here:

1) The first question I have for you is, how does the Second Life user relate to his/her Avatar? I know this is a very broad question, but it is very interesting to me. I have heard theories that say the Avatar is the virtual representation of one's ideal self. Do you think that's true?
Yes and no. We have actually done some pretty extensive studies into the idea of avatar and identity in SL, and have found as many variables as there are residents. Some do use the avatar to represent ideal self, no question. Some take great pains to make the avatar as much like the person's RL appearance as possible, including wrinkles and grey hair. More and more avatars are less Barbie-doll like and more realistic. Some choose to be furries, nekos, or tinies. Some to represent an ideal, a fantasy...some just because we can.

2) Your work is all about people. How effective is SL as a medium for connecting with people? Does it have advantages compared to Real Life?
Surprisingly effective. I would not have been able to predict the ability to create a therapeutic alliance with a client over a two-dimensional, text-based medium - but it happens. The effectiveness correlates with my RL connections with RL clients. Where it falls short, as a clinician who makes every effort to maintain professional integrity and ethics, is that there is no responsible way to offer the same services in-world as we can in person. I don't have medical records, identifying information on all clients (even if it is offered, it may not always be accurate), or most important, the person right there in front of me. Let's say a person comes in to talk, and reveals they are actively feeling suicidal. My limitations in SL are never more apparent in situations like that. I offset that by making sure I provide clear information on policies, procedures, and limitations before I ever sit down with a client. And more often than not, referral to RL help is what I find is most needed.
Advantages though are many. Anonymity, low cost, accessibility (whether geographic or due to a person's inability to get out of the home) are a few benefits. In addition, most RL mental health clinicians will likely see Second Life as a symptom, not necessarily as the medium in which the symptoms occur, if that makes sense. They will hear "I met a woman in a virtual world and we are having problems" and not be able to get past "virtual world" as the perceived problem.

3) Do you have any success stories about SL residents that have reached out to you for help who have consequently made a positive change in their real life? If so, is there any way you can share an example with me?
Many such stories, yes. In order to preserve anonymity of my clients (which is as important to me in SL as it is in my RL work), I can share some generalities. Number one I think are the times working together in Second Life results in the client feeling more comfortable with reaching out for connections in Real Life. In a safe space, they may gain confidence, a sense of normalcy, a feeling of hope. For many I have been the first, safest step toward connecting with wellness in the broadest sense. Second Life also can provide a platform in which to work through RL issues, whether they are social anxiety, negative body image, or difficulty communicating.

4) You entered unchartered when you became the first in-world counselor. Since that time, SL has become a popular place for universities, large corporations, clothing brands, real estate developers, and now health clubs. Why do you think SL has taken off as a place for these various ventures and activities?
First, to clarify, I was not the first in-world counselor...maybe the second or third. Wellness Island was the first sim devoted entirely to mental health resources and support, and perhaps we are the most mainstream and RL-like service.
That said, since 2006 the number of people signing up with the hope of becoming in-world counselors has skyrocketed. Sad to say most of these are not licensed, credentialed, certified, degreed...they may be well-meaning, but many are not trained as therapists. My measure is this - if you are not qualified in RL, then don't claim to be qualified in Second Life. Peer counselor, student counselor...sure. But you may notice the proliferation of self-proclaimed doctors and psychologists, many of whom have zero qualifications. The implications of this are scary. Wellness Island offers a great deal of education material for consumers on choosing a qualified, ethical therapist.
The various ventures and activities you listed probably all have different reasons for exploring Second Life as a potential venue for their work. Retail businesses and entrepeneurs may see a potential for tapping into a great income. Universities and students probably see the potential for research and development as well. Those wanting to be clinicians but without training or experience may think that in a virtual world, less is okay - particularly since Linden Lab does not police their activities.
The actual potential for all of these may be less than hoped, as we see businesses coming in with a splash, then leaving after a time when the goldmine never materializes. I would definitely suggest contacting some of the ventures in question to ask what they had hoped for, and then what they found.

Alter Ego Photoshoot Challenge

2009-09-12T15:17:00.000-07:00

My guilty pleasure is reality TV. When the Housewives of Atlanta geared up for their "Alter Ego Photoshoot" I was inspired to call upon fellow Second Lifers, especially bloggers, to do one of their own. Especially those who, unlike me, can get fancy with the Photoshopping and stuff.

An Alter Ego Photoshoot is where you combine two shots of yourself representing two sides of your personality. Are you a good girl *and* a bad girl? A biker guy who also has a refined, gentlemanly side?

Here's mine - on one hand a counselor in both worlds, detached, listening, professional in clothing and demeanor. On the other, the side of me in boots, ripped jeans, green geeky glasses, a few tats, and even brown roots showing :-)

What are your two sides? Put together a little sample and post it on your blog!

The privilege of saying goodbye

2009-04-26T12:02:00.000-07:00

I work Saturdays in RL, in Acute Care at a local hospital. I do therapy, social work, psych evaluations, referrals, you name it. Social service stuff. It's the weekend so I am the only one there, handling Emergency, ICU, Labor and Delivery, Medical/Surgical, and Telemetry floors. It's a juggling act, lots of triage as to who needs to be seen first and what they need. I love it.

Yesterday I saw a familiar name on the census, a patient about my age with multiple diagnoses. I made a note to pop in to say hello to her.

Around lunchtime, my pager went off. Four times, all different numbers on the same floor. I called the charge nurse to cut to the chase. "We need to you come up to room ___, the patient is dying and her family needs emotional support." They often say a room number, not a name, so I asked. It was the patient whose name I had noticed earlier. I dumped my lunch and ran upstairs.

I heard the patient before I saw her, all the way down the hall from the stairwell. Moaning. Entering the room, if I hadn't known the patient, I would not have recognized her. She had lost so much weight. Her hair had grown back in since I saw her last, in February. She was not conscious, but taking in ragged breaths followed by loud exhaled moans.

She had a large family and they were all present. She had only one child, an adult daughter who never left her mom's side. Lots of little ones, nieces and nephews, but they remained in the waiting room. The family felt it was best. I talked to each family member, checking to see how they were holding up, answering questions about the process we were witnessing as best I could, going between them and the medical staff when needed. Gently asking about...plans. They had it all covered. The patient had valiantly battled lung cancer for a long time. She was tired, they said. They each took a few moments to lean down toward the patient, and in their own way each person told her they loved her and that it was okay to let go.

As the hours passed, the inhalations became fewer and farther between. The exhalations became quieter - more sighs than moans. Her blood pressure slowly dropped. The family kept watch and I kept it with them. Holding a hand, giving a hug, calling hospice at their request, getting tissues, and much of the time just sitting quietly along with them. Waiting.

There was soft laughter at times. Family members talked about how stubborn the patient could be. Remembering good times. She was the baby of the family, and her siblings, all in their 50's, were there. There were no orders to resuscitate. Just to keep her comfortable and to allow as many friends and family members who wanted to be there, come and wait, talk, pray, laugh, remember.

The oldest sister took me aside at one point and held my hand. She looked into my eyes and asked "I work in a hospital, too. Is this hard for you?" I said no. This part of my job is a privilege. She looked at me for a long time and nodded, with tears in her eyes. And we went back to our vigil.

I stayed three hours overtime with them, and was honored to do so. Hospice arrived, not to intervene in any way with the patient, but to support the family. I went home to mine, and hugged each one of them extra tight.

Last night I was hit by a wave of concern for how the family was doing, even tempted to drop into the unit to see if all was well. Normally I leave work at work, but some patients and families stay with you. This was like a lightning bolt, though. I finally called the doctor on call and he told me that the patient had just passed away, peacefully, surrounded by her family.

I love my RL job, even though when they call me it means something is pretty wrong. The person is a drug addict, homeless, just got a terminal diagnosis, threatened a nurse, is in ICU, has domestic abuse, or any of a hundred other reasons a patient would need psychological support or intervention. Sometimes the vigils I keep are with 16-year-old moms, laboring to give birth all alone and scared. Sometimes, like yesterday, it is for someone leaving this world. If you look hard enough, there is beauty in both sides of the human experience, birth and death. Today I am thankful for my patient's life, for her family, and for the peaceful and loving way she moved on.

Love Thursday 3/26/09

2009-03-26T13:15:00.000-07:00

I love Plurk.

No really.

I work in SL as much or more as I do in RL. Same job, too, so yeah. I'm dull, okay? Well, not really. But SL was just another place to work. Great clients, love the island, love the projects, but it is still work.

Hello Plurk. Hello 212 people in SL I hadn't met yet or just barely. It has really added a social dimension to SL that I didn't have previously. I read as many as I can, from the "what I had for lunch" posts to the "I am going to write something really personal" Plurks. I've made friends there. I chat away with Plurkers who I later realize made the entire outfit I am wearing. (lots of fan girl moments if you are a Plurker from SL) But on Plurk, we're kind of all at the same party, and it's fun. I can be silly and dorkish because I am not working. Insert (woot) emote.

So this week, I love Plurk. I love your recipes, your "goodnight, sleep wells," your worries about each other on rough days. Thanks for adding me, all of you!

In other news, Wellness Island is still being renovated. See "Plurk," above. lol
(not really, I am struggling with a security system that is allllmost done. We'll be open by Saturday - thanks for your patience!)

Meta-Stalking article

2009-02-16T12:19:00.000-08:00

Prad Prathivi of Metaversally Speaking shared this article on February 15, 2009 and it is worth reading. It addresses meta-stalking.

Stalking in SL happens more than some would think. Whether it is an ex-lover (or God forbid, a current one using an alt), a customer/client, or just a random griefer, it happens. It's happened to me a couple of times - once all the way to my RL place of work, and once still goes on today. What do SL stalkers do? Check your profile constantly, go where they know you will be, join your Groups, use online indicators to see when you are on, make alts and try to strike up a "new" relationship with you...the list goes on. It's creepy and sad. And scary.

The article referenced above addresses it well.

Avatar Abandonment article

2009-01-30T19:19:00.000-08:00

http://nwn.blogs.com/nwn/2009/01/avatar-abadonment.html#more

The story of a Second Life resident who abandoned her avatar to be able to engage in her RL. Fascinating story, with some wise words in response. I particularly liked this, from Mo Hax:

"Dare I suggest that the closer we live our Second Lives to our real lives the less the need to abandon it entirely. Sure escaping reality is nice but perhaps not disconnecting entirely from reality is key to keeping ourselves in a place we can always live with, come what may, in our Second and First lives."

I have noticed that the more fragmented we keep ourselves in SL, the more secrets, the more separate our "selves" - the easier to fall into a place where we can't feel fully engaged or okay about either life. Very interesting stuff, and I wish Nightflower all the best in rediscovering her RL.

Guiding Lights

2009-01-19T15:09:00.001-08:00

Yesterday's kick-off workshop went very well. The group was amazing - full of great questions, feedback, and already providing a safe place for support for one another.

Guiding Lights info here. Added a Questions section for the 1-2 people who may be flummoxed that we...gave the workshop series a name..? lol

Interested people can send Program Coordinator Lemur Asylum an IM or email about getting an application. I think the classes are going to be good, and the group itself is pretty terrific.

Wellness Island mentioned

2009-01-07T14:11:00.000-08:00

The podcast "What The Plurk" mentions Wellness Island and our work there - it's about 2/3 of the way into the podcast.

http://whattheplurk.libsyn.com/

Episode #5

What is a "Qualified" Counselor?

2009-01-07T13:50:00.000-08:00

I am approached often by new residents who want to start a counseling business in SL. Often enough that I have a small packet of info to send them that answers the most common questions, including things like professional links in-world, groups to join, etc. It also includes some things that can turn off a prospective counselor-to-be, like ethics and what constitutes "qualified" when it comes to calling yourself a counselor or therapist.

Maybe I am missing something. In-world or in RL, I don't see the difference in what makes one qualified to provide mental health services to others. So when someone says "Well, I am not really a counselor in RL but I want to be, and I am a good listener. lol." I sort of wonder what they're thinking. Some have a class or two under their RL belts, some are currently students in good programs, some have no experience or training whatsoever. Most have an idea of setting up a center in SL, making money, and having that grow into a RL business. And a lot of excitement, which I hate to squash.

It's a dilemma, as there is no official verification system in SL for medical and mental health personnel. We are working on one, but what it seems to be is just a formalized version of each of us, who are legitimate practitioners in RL, continuing to follow our licensing boards Codes of Ethics and being honest about who we are, our qualifications, and not practicing outside that scope. Just like RL. This level of honesty has to start with ourselves, though. Again, maybe I am missing something but I don't think it's okay to present myself as a therapist in SL if I can't do the same in RL, say, applying for a job. If I don't have the credentials or training or knowledge in RL, what do I think I am I going to do in SL? (I am not including SL roleplayers here, who clearly state they are roleplayers and not counselors or doctors so everyone knows up front who is who)

SL has a real need for peer counselors, and we provide training for anyone who wants it, free of charge. There is also a need for coaching and other types of support, which may be a good fit for those not trained in providing actual therapy but who want to help others. Even those of us with advanced degrees and RL experience don't get rich on our services. Most of our work is done free of charge, or for a very nominal donation. We do it because we believe this platform has potential for psychosocial education, resources, and support.

I guess I need to channel my concerns into more consumer education in-world and continued work on establishing a credentialing system that has merit. And maybe helping those who, even with minimal training, want to help others in a way that is beneficial to all. But when I see Profiles that advertise "SL's first certified Medical Docter!! [sic]" or "Psycologist!" etc it makes me shake my head and wonder when the first lawsuit is going to come down, and how the fallout will affect those of us working in-world.

Spring Wellness Magazine

2008-12-27T19:34:00.000-08:00

Already in the works is our Spring issue of Wellness Magazine, which will focus on avatars and identity.

I'm interested in learning:

How did you choose your avatar's "look"?
How does the appearance of your avatar relate to the RL you? The same, different, or ?
Has your "look" changed since you rezzed, and how?
What kinds of avatars catch your eye? In a positive way, and also in a negative way?
Any favorite or "signature" looks that you have?
If you are a furry, tiny, child av, etc. do you notice other residents reacting to your appearance, and in what ways?
Anything else you want to share about your identity and how you express it through your avatar?

Send your answers to me on a notecard in-world or by email at avalonbirke@gmail.com (please, not by IM as my messages cap daily). Thank you! Your name will be kept confidential unless you specifically state I can use it.

Looking forward to 2009

2008-12-27T19:19:00.000-08:00

Going into Year Three with Wellness Island and the Counseling Center in Second Life, I realize the amazing amount of growth in SL. When I joined, there were maybe 3 of us who were mental health professionals in RL. Now there are dozens upon dozens. How many are legitimate, trained, degreed, not roleplaying, etc? Maybe 1/3 of that. That's the topic of a whole other blog post, of articles in past Wellness Magazines, and in-world trainings we do from time to time.

But it does show that discussions about mental health, in one way or another, have become much more commonplace in our virtual world. Awareness is a good thing. So one of our goals for 2009 will be working to continue to share resources, to provide groups and workshops, and to make sure the magazine covers topics relevant to resident interests.

The holidays have been fun on the island, with dance parties, skating tours (love The Guided Tour Company), and lots of visitors popping in to say hello, visit the library, or check out the community center.

My SL client practice continues to thrive and grow and always keep me on my toes. Because most of my RL work is in the hospital setting, I don't get to establish ongoing relationships or treatment plans with my patients there. In SL some come for one or two visits, others on an ongoing basis. It's been great to have the opportunity to work with all of them, and to try to meet the challenges of running a RL quality practice (within ethical constraints and for....hmmm...about 1/10 of my RL hourly fee...lol) in a virtual world. So far, so good.

Any Plurkers?

2008-12-11T18:59:00.000-08:00

http://www.plurk.com/avalonbirke

Thread on SL Healthy

2008-12-11T18:57:00.000-08:00

A good thread started by Knoh Oh (who also has an article in the upcoming Winter issue of Wellness Magazine)

http://slhealthy.wetpaint.com/thread/2149328/I+wish+my+support+group+had....

Devotees?

2008-12-04T22:54:00.000-08:00

Tonight we had another encounter with a "disability devotee" - defined as a type of paraphilia:
This paraphilia is a type of sexual fetish involving attraction to people with impaired mobility, especially those with appliances such as braces or wheelchairs. Another word for a person with this fetish is devotee.

Now I really am a therapist. Trained in sexual stuff. And I have a disability; multiple sclerosis. But this was new to me till about 2 months ago when I got a semi-literate IM from someone who was trolling the Wheelies group in SL, looking for females who appeared online. "Are you an amputee?" Yeah, buddy, that's quite the smooth opening line women are dying to hear. I was building and answered something along the lines of "Huh?" He went on to tell me how he "worhisped women in wheelchairs" and wanted to know if I could walk. Okay by now my skin is crawling. This is not a client, this is unsolicited, this is personal. And, just, eww. End of story, this guy had been trolling enough women that he got the boot and that was that.
Oh, wait. He wasn't the only one. I guess there was a whole workshop in-world about it, and tonight one showed up where a group of us were dancing. Just to...watch. And IM. One thing we all had in inventory were wheelchairs, so when he finally left we put them on and had a laugh. Talked about using the next devotee as a speed bump.

Then he came back. And we all, en masse, went to have a chat with Mr. Paraphilia. It was kind of sad to see how excited he got when he saw 5-6 female avatars in wheelchairs coming his way. Alas, he was disappointed in what real women with disabilities are like.

Now, again. This man was not my client. He came to us, in what has been for a couple of years a safe place to be. He started off with apparently the requisite "Are you an amputee?" line. To a group of about 5 women and one man, all with various RL disabilities. His profile was filled with amputee and wheelchair related sex clubs. Yeah, I know.

He got an earful from a pretty offended group of people, some of us trying to explain about what it feels like to be the focus of a paraphilia, some very angry. Most of us a bit of both. He tried to make peace. "I don't mean to offense. I feel sorry for you rl." Umm, yeah. Don't be.

"But all the sex club amputees are rl amuptee women." LOL. Okaaaaay. And I am the Queen of Sheba.

Some days I think I have seen it all. Where I work there is a locked unit, two in fact. Some very sick folks, trying to get better. Other days, like this one, I just shake my head.

Winter 2008

2008-12-01T22:43:00.000-08:00

Being bitten by the Plurk bug brought me back to this dusty old Blogger. I was surprised to see it had been well over a year since I last updated. I work on my "official" SL webpage all the time (www.slcounseling.org) so maybe finding this was a chance to go in a more personal direction than just Wellness Island and work info.
So hopefully I will be here a little more, updating about the bigger SL picture and my time there :-)

Summer 2007

2007-08-13T19:54:00.000-07:00

Time for an update from The Counseling Center and Wellness Island!

It's been busy here with a steady stream of wonderful clients and the occasional interview or consultation about mental health services in Second Life. I try to keep track of all public interviews on my Profile in-world, but have lost track lately. The most recent was a chat with Tina Travanti at the Brutal Honesty blog, about the psychology behind anonymous posting. I've also talked to Life4-U (an SL TV station), sl-newspaper.com, and a few more.

If you have not visited our mainland Counseling Center annex, come on by! Two of our bookshelves are there and more materials are being developed. For SL newbies, we have dumpster diving for some inventory essentials (and it's a great place for anyone to drop off transferable inventory you no longer want - just click on the bin at the bottom of the building's stairs and it will give you instructions on how to gove or get items!). The SLurl is in my profile, along with the most up to date news.

Our main website, which includes my appointment calendar (updated daily), is at http://www.slcounseling.org/. Or go to the Web tab in my Profile.

If you are in need of support as you work through issues in your First or Second Life, feel free to contact me for an appointment. We're not a roleplay, but as much like a real counseling center as is possible to re-create inworld. Info in my Profile and at both locations.